An-Nisa 4:129

No one is responsible for something beyond his control

In order to make married life pleasant and stable, the Holy Qur'an has given important instructions to both parties in these verses. Out of these, there is the verse: وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَن تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ (And you shall never be able to maintain real equality between wives ... -129) which carries a special instruction for both. At this point it will be recalled that the Holy Qur'an has already established in the beginning of Surah al-Nis-a' that a man who holds more than one wife in the bond of marriage is duty-bond to maintain justice and equality among all wives, and that if one thinks that he would be unable to fulfill this obligation, he should not take more than one wife. It was said: فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً "But, if you fear that you will not maintain equity, then, (keep to) one woman (4:3)."

The Holy Prophet ﷺ has, by his word and deed, declared that maintaining justice and equality among wives is a very emphatic injunction and he has given stern warnings to those who contravene it. Sayyidah ` A'ishah ؓ has said that the Holy Prophet ﷺ took great care in making perfectly sure that he treats his wives equally and justly. While he did so, he prayed to Allah:

اَللَّھُمَّ ھٰذا قَسمِی فِیمَا اَملِکُ ، فَلَا تَلُمنِی فِیمَا تَملِکُ وَلَا اَملِکُ

O Allah, this equalization of mine is in what I have in my control, therefore, do not make me answerable for what is in Your control (that is, emotional inclination) and not in mine.

Who could be in control of his self more than the Holy Prophet ﷺ ?

Yet, the matter of emotional inclination was what he too ruled as something out of his control and prayed to Almighty Allah that he be excused on that count.

The veneer of the words in verse 3 of Surah al-Nis-a' gave' the impression that maintaining equity between wives was ark absolute obligation which, obviously, includes equity in emotional inclination while this is something not in one's control. Therefore, in this verse of the Surah al-Nisa', the matter was clarified by saying that in things which one does not control, equality is not obligatory. However, equality shall be observed in matters within one's control, for example, equality in spending nights with them, their living standards and cost of maintenance. Allah Almighty has revealed this injunction in a way which compels a God-fearing person to put it into practice. It was said: وَلَن تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَن تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ وَلَوْ حَرَ‌صْتُمْ ۖ فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُ‌وهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ (And you shall never be able to maintain real equality between wives, even though you are eager to. So, do not lean totally (towards one) and leave the other hanging).

This leads us to realize that the inability to maintain equality pointed out in this verse actually refers to the equality in emotional inclination which is beyond human control. Then, the words of this verse: فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ (So, do not lean totally ...) themselves contain the justification of this sense. This is because the words mean: 'Even though maintaining equality in emotional inclination is not within your power, yet you should not lean totally towards one of your wives so much so that you start preferring her even in matters which lie within your power and control'.

Thus, this verse of Surah al-Nisa' (129) becomes a clarification of the earlier verse (3) of the same Surah which outwarldly appeared to be suggesting that equality in motional inclination too was obligatory. Now, this verse makes it precisely clear that this is not obligatory because it does not lie in one's power. Instead, what is obligatory is the equality in matters which do lie in one's power and discretion.

This verse cannot be used against polygamy

Incidentally, the details appearing above also serve to remove the misunderstanding of those who, by juxtaposing these two verses, wish to conclude that the verse appearing at the beginning of Surah al-Nis'a

(3) says: 'If you cannot maintain equality between wives, marry only one'; while, the other verse (129) says: 'Maintaining equality between two wives is just not possible'; therefore, the outcome is: The very keeping of two (or more) wives in the bond of marriage is impermissible as such!

Though surprising, Allah Almighty has Himself phrased these very two verses with the necessary material to remove this misunderstanding. The indication given in the present verses by the use of the words: فَلَا تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ (So, do not lean totally) has appeared immediately before while the words used in verse 3 were: فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً "But, if you fear that you will not maintain equity, then, (keep to) one woman." Here, in the later verse, saying: 'If you fear' as a condition openly indicates that maintaining justice and equality between wives is not beyond the realm of possibility or ability. Otherwise, there was no need for this extended word arrangement, more so, not to the limit of two full verses. For example, the verse which says: حُرِّ‌مَتْ عَلَيْكُمْ أُمَّهَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُكُمْ (Forbidden for you are your mothers and your daughters - 4:23) carries details pertaining to women marriage with whom is forbidden. Then, by saying: وَأَن تَجْمَعُوا بَيْنَ الْأُخْتَيْنِ (and that you combine two sisters in the bond of marriage - 4:23), it has been declared that combining two sisters in marriage is unlawful. Similarly, it was quite possible to say that having more than one wife simultaneously is unlawful. If so, the restriction of بَيْنَ الْأُخْتَيْنِ (two sisters) with وَأَن تَجْمَعُوا (that you combine) would have become redundant. It was possible to say this in one single sentence, something like: وَأَن تَجْمَعُوا بَيْنَ الْأُخْتَيْنِ (and that you combine two women in the bond of marriage) which would have made it unlawful in the absolute sense. But, the Holy Qur'an avoids this lexical brevity for the sake of a longer narration, the detail of which extends to as much as two full verses. This treatment also indicates that the verse: وَأَن تَجْمَعُوا بَيْنَ الْأُخْتَيْنِ )that you combine two sisters in the bond of marriage - 4:23) is, in a way, suggesting the justification of combining more than one woman in the bond of marriage which is quite permissible with the condition that they should not be sisters of each other